Thrice

Cuz she's three times a lady
so cold yet inviting. i cannot resist her. harsh though she soothes your painz. she'll talk to you all day yet you can't hardly get a word in. care to explain to me why? why we put ourselves through it time and time again? because you know that even when it seemz pointless you know it will go nowhere you hold out the slight hope that maybe it can be something more. one night stands are just outlets for faulty searches unjustified loneliness longing for acceptance. in the short moments we spend in the throes of passion we know it will end far before we are ready yet we continue to subject ourselves to it. we keep false hope in the thought that it will somehow last. it was said that every man dies alone. are we scared? yes. scared to fucking death of that thought. keep trying if you think you have what it takes. but realize both must want it or it won't ever be anything. holding back only keeps you in the same place no matter how much you might want to move on.

Best of You

Deucez

now i'm looking at all these cards in my hand. itz interesting to say the least. how we're all dealt a lot, but it all playz out differently. i guess it dependz on the lot you're given and the person you are. not to say that mine is less or more than yourz. honestly i feel we have the same amount cardz that is. as for what it is that we have, some may have similiar cardz but no one's is the same. as i look over mine i have mixed feelingz but then i look at you and how you look at your hand. i won't say that your pessimistic about it but it is obvious that you're not happy. you never did have a very good poker face but i can't handle this. i'm not you so i could never say that i completely understand or know what you were dealt. this i know though what we have is what we're stuck with. i see you plead for a redeal a chance to draw another card. you don't pay attention to the game sometimez and i swear i've wondered if you were just going to quit at other momentz. it's a bad decision though to give up. this isn't an easy game to win but how can you win if you let yourself lose? it died because you refused to fight. i'm not saying the throwing your cards in is the way to go but if you have nothing worth fighting for what is the fight for? so many people miss this and so they throw their cards in. you though are different. all you see is the red cardz that just turn on you. if there were some way to show you i would. granted the cardz you've had were tough to play but they affect more than only you. i caught just a glimpse of what you had and it threw my entire hand off. it has shifted everything about it how i want to play it and what is worth it. i know i'm not the only person either. your hand has such possibility and you just don't see it. maybe i was wrong i guess i taught you how to bluff a little too well

Cheer up boys (your makeup is running)

#1

Now I lay me down to weep

This poor soul will never sleep

Dear father time won't let me die

But who's to question why

I'm standing near so near. It is sapping my strength to think of the last time we were close. When we shared an intimacy and were vulnerable in each other's arms. I picture this as you stand in front of me looking as beautiful as always. This of course leads me on like a parent guiding a child across the street. Nowhere is safe nothing is known. My time is spent with my eyes open is haunted but as soon as they shut I am tormented. For the first time I felt like I was close to someone. I had never felt that. I am the alien the outcast forever the freak. Stares sideways glances awkward interactions and uneasy encounters follow me everywhere I go. You were the first to get past that. To be at ease with me. But my mind has halls that stay locked to me, bar me entry when I need to get in. I may never fully understand all my problems, but you saw them and know them well it seems. Now I want to know, nothing is steadfast. So why has it taken me so long to see all this?

Over and out

How I Feel

So letz play a little game

I want you to try and see you if can identify all the lyrics

Song or band, both preferably

Email me at jwmulatto@gmail.com

If you can actually get them all

You know me pretty well

Or you cheated

Also if you can figure out why I chose these

Then we really need to talk

'cause she's bittersweet

She knocks me off of my feet

And I can't help myself

I don't want anyone else

She's a mystery

She's too much for me

But I keep comin' back for more

She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

She can't keep a secret

For more than an hour

She runs on 100 proof attitude power

And the more she ignores me

The more I adore her

What can I do?

I'd do anything for her

She's cold and she's cruel

But she knows what she's doin'

Knows just what to say

So my whole day is ruined

Well she's hotter than hell

And she's cool as they come

And she's smart and she's wild

All rolled into one

and you never would have thought in the end

how amazing it feels just to live again

it's a feeling that you cannot miss

it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it

if you're looking for it

won't come your way

well you'll never find it

if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough

by the way your hands were shaking

rather waste some time with you

You said tonight is a wonderful night to die.
I asked you could tell, you told me to look at the sky.
Look at all those stars, look at how goddamn ugly the stars are.

With blood shot eyes, I watch you sleeping

The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading

Would she hear me, if I called her name?

Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong

The path I walk is in the wrong direction

There's always someone fucking hanging on

Can anybody help me makes things better?

I wanted to deserve a place
A place beside you
This time when I reached out my hand
It reached all the way to heaven

I'd do anything to have her to myself

Just to have her for myself

Now I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sane.

She is everything to me

The unrequited dream

A song that no one sings

The unattainable, Shes a myth that I have to believe in

All I need to make it real is one more reason

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.

I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart... when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a Saint...

This incline will always remind me of you

And the seat next to me will forever be yours

But the sun doesnt shine

Just quite like it did that day

And all the stars in the sky

Couldnt help me to cry at night

I want you to believe this

That life may have no purpose

But you make me proud

Youre the one with the power

The power thats keeping me down

But what happened that night

Couldnt haunt me tonight I swear

So Im saying out loud

That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

I was the one you always dreamed of,

You were the one I tried to draw.

How dare you say it's nothing to me?

Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,

You'll be a bitch because you can.

You try to hit me just to hurt me

So you leave me feeling dirty

Because you can't understand.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

these notes are marked return to sender

I'll save this letter for myself

I wish you only knew how good it is to see you

these steps I take don't get me anywhere

I'm getting further from myself

one this is always true

how good it is to see you

I'm done resenting you

you represented me so well

and this I promise you

how could I end up in the hands of someone else

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
Cause there was nothin' in there but you.
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me.
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out.

There you are standing right in front of me
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety.