4.22.2009

Memories

Itz interesting how memories can affect us.
Some bring us such a happy feeling and can lift our spirits for dayz
While other timez it can bring us to such a low point, we wonder why we continued on
The worst are the memories that can do both to us.

Growing up, I have some truly fond memories of my father.
Dayz that we would spend at the park, practicing my baseball skillz
Evening when we would go in the driveway and play basketball
To this day I still laugh when i think of the time my dad went into the middle of the street and shot the ball. When it went in, he was as shocked as I was.
The many times we went to Six Flags, or to baseball games.
Just the two of us having a good time.
Anytime that I had a sporting event, he would find a way to be there.
I like to look back every once in a while and think about those times.

But then, itz hard to think about it
I get upset, angry, sad
All sorts of messed up
It makes me think of how despite the few good memories that i had of him
He was almost never around
I rarely saw him
Practically grew up without a father
Or all the promises that he made me
To just go and break them
It hurts, a lot.
Sadly, thatz not even the worst part.
The tears start to stream when I think about while we might have had those few good memories
We have no current ones.
The only time we ever talk
Is when we are pissed off at each other
Yelling and about to fight
The last thing that I can even remember us doing
Just the two of us
Would be standing outside smoking
In silence.......
For a lil side note, the latest of the fond memories of me and my father
Would be more than 5 years ago

So i part with this
While the memories may bring smilez and tearz
What we do with them
And how we let them shape us
Is what really matters