A New Beginnning

So everyone that knowz me prolly knowz how I have a tendency to say a lot of thingz
And then they never seem to happen
Like all the timez I have said that I was going to change
Or that I was going to help someone out
Yeah, never really happened.
Not sure why
I think I had jus gotten way too comfortable in the way that I was living
Anywho
Thatz finished
The old me is dead
Deceased
Gone
I have posted more than a few blogs talking about how I was fed up with shit and what not
But this time
I'm already changed
Itz already happening
And will continue to happen
I've hurt a lot of people in the past
Intentional and not
That is done
The only reason/way that I will hurt people is if I plan and want to do it
For too long I've cared about jus myself
And spurned people that cared about me
But I'm realizing more about myself
I have more strength than I had thought
So from here out
Itz gonna be different
For all the people that have let me borrow money
I will pay you back in full
If not with interest
All those that have helped me
I am going to help in return
Anyone who has cared about me and what happens
I care about them
To those that love me
I have learned how to love in return


There once was a man
No scratch that
There once was a male
For he was not a boy
But he didn't know what it took to be a man yet
He was cared about
Though he didn't know how to care
People looked up to him
Even though he looked up to no one
There were those that respected him
Although he had respect for none
Many people helped and tried to help him
But he never helped them in return
Everyone was alwayz there for him
Yet he wasn't anywhere to be found for anyone
He was a good person
But he didn't know how to be good
His life contained more than enough responsibilities
For some reason he could not be responsible

He was loved

But he did not know how to love

Now though

He is different

With all things

Time changes and lets things grow

And he has matured and learned

He is now ready for what he is needed for

He understands what it takes to be a man

He has learned how to care

He does have people that he looks up to

He respects people in a new light

He helps those that need and deserve it

He is there for those that matter in his life

He now knows what good is and how he can be it

He is responsible for what he needs to be and doesn't take more than what is his problem

He knows what love is and is returning it to those that he truly does love

This male

Is me

Magnolia Tree

As she walked towards the tree, she saw him. Sitting in between the roots, he looked to be asleep but she knew he was too tense. With the way his hair covered his eyes, it was impossible to know where he was looking, if his eyes were even open. Once she was close, she noticed his guitar laying next to him. She worried, knowing that the only times he'd ever brought his guitar here was if he had to think. He'd asked her to meet him, and now she was scared that something was wrong.
Sitting down next to him, he spoke without looking up. "I wrote you a song," his voice calm and clear.
Her face lit up instantly. He's never written anything for me, she thought. Played me songs, but never anything original specifically for me. Maybe itz good after all.
"Before you say anything though, I just want you to listen." He looked at her with an intensity she'd never seen before. Lifting his guitar, he started to play.

This song is not to cry to
I don't want to see your tears
Despite what you think
This is just what you need to hear
Sometimes life isn't perfect
And things will go wrong
Even as we try
It can only be ignored for so long
This time tomorrow
I will be gone away
This will be hard
But it's the only way to say
I loved you
And care about you still
Sadly people change
I no longer feel
This song is not to cry to
I don't want to see your tears
Despite what you think
This is just what you need to hear

When he stopped, she just looked at him, tears streaming down her face. He stood and turned, but she grabbed his hand.
"But Jeremy-"
"Stop." He interrupted. "This is good-bye. Let's leave it at that."
With that he left, leaving her sitting there under the magnolia tree.