I'm an infallable truth-teller
A perpetual liar
I'm a honest worker
The lazy noncommital bum
I've been burned
Therefore I have become hardened
I am loud and boisterous
So I hold back and stay quiet
I am a strong person
Yet lack the strength needed
Being considerate to a fault
I am rude beyond belief
With smarts that know no bounds
I am the greatest fool
Riches abound throughout and with me
Though I revel in the poverty
I am black
I am white
The future scares the hell out of me
While the past infuriates me to no end
I wish to be able to change a lot
Though I lack the conscious to be human
Through it all
I come to this point
Only to say
I am the amazing complex paradox of your dreams
Jus to be revealed
As the simplest piece of all
i swear i live a perpetual lie. itz ridiculous. and the sad part is that i know i am not the only one. but the fact that i know i am doing it and have wanted to change it for some time is what bothers me the most. and if normalcy is what i am supposed to settle for, then i guess in a way i am refusing to be human. some things about me have changed. that i will not deny. i've hardened almost to the point past recognition. i've done a lot of despicable things. my view has changed on some things. but my ability to settle and deal is still not there. i don't want less than i can get, and i refuse to not strive for something that i cannot achieve. you tell me that i am trapped, so i try to break free. you say i can't, therefore i try all the harder. i've set the deadline and i'm sticking to it. fuck what anyone else says or thinks, this is about me and those that i allow close enough to me. right now, for the third time in my life, the number of people that are like that are dwindling down. but nonetheless i refuse to quit living. because to live without risk is to not live at all. i will not risk those that matter on me. that is not what i mean to do. but i am will to risk all my securities and norms for what i want. what has pushed me to continue this far. we all have our dreams. for some reason, too many people let go of those dreams. that is when they begin to settle. why though? because someone told them that they couldn't? who are we to tell others what is and isn't possible? who deigned us the rulers and deciders of the lives of others than our own? it is not right. push. move forward. go against the tide. even if it means risking everything you have ever known. take a leap of faith and watch where you land. i seriously doubt that you will be disappointed. this was to start as more of an outpouring, that turned into a rant which has now become a plea. to everyone. to mankind. to myself. to those that mean everything to me. i have changed. and i most likely cannot go back. but i will keep going forward. i will do my all. and i hope that it will be enough, for me. and for you
if this is all we have to live for
and we don't like it
then who it to say that we have to settle for it?
change it
mold it
and let your dreams run rampant
free them from your muses and imaginings
so that they can become your realities
