8.20.2009

A New Beginnning

So everyone that knowz me prolly knowz how I have a tendency to say a lot of thingz
And then they never seem to happen
Like all the timez I have said that I was going to change
Or that I was going to help someone out
Yeah, never really happened.
Not sure why
I think I had jus gotten way too comfortable in the way that I was living
Anywho
Thatz finished
The old me is dead
Deceased
Gone
I have posted more than a few blogs talking about how I was fed up with shit and what not
But this time
I'm already changed
Itz already happening
And will continue to happen
I've hurt a lot of people in the past
Intentional and not
That is done
The only reason/way that I will hurt people is if I plan and want to do it
For too long I've cared about jus myself
And spurned people that cared about me
But I'm realizing more about myself
I have more strength than I had thought
So from here out
Itz gonna be different
For all the people that have let me borrow money
I will pay you back in full
If not with interest
All those that have helped me
I am going to help in return
Anyone who has cared about me and what happens
I care about them
To those that love me
I have learned how to love in return


There once was a man
No scratch that
There once was a male
For he was not a boy
But he didn't know what it took to be a man yet
He was cared about
Though he didn't know how to care
People looked up to him
Even though he looked up to no one
There were those that respected him
Although he had respect for none
Many people helped and tried to help him
But he never helped them in return
Everyone was alwayz there for him
Yet he wasn't anywhere to be found for anyone
He was a good person
But he didn't know how to be good
His life contained more than enough responsibilities
For some reason he could not be responsible
He was loved
But he did not know how to love
Now though
He is different
With all things
Time changes and lets things grow
And he has matured and learned
He is now ready for what he is needed for
He understands what it takes to be a man
He has learned how to care
He does have people that he looks up to
He respects people in a new light
He helps those that need and deserve it
He is there for those that matter in his life
He now knows what good is and how he can be it
He is responsible for what he needs to be and doesn't take more than what is his problem
He knows what love is and is returning it to those that he truly does love
This male
Is me

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