12.17.2009
Sixpence
12.11.2009
Fivehigh
12.10.2009
Fourthcoming
and never find things out for ourselvez
once again body worn eyez restless mind racing i find myself with thoughtz. thoughtz that i wish i could understand. the hopeless romantic the last of a dying kind i don't get it. why is it that we accept these so called love storiez in the entertainment knowing that it is not true yet we long for our livez to mirror? i have found love but because i am barely more than human at this point i fucked up. i nearly lost it completely. no my life is not a pretty fairy tale or a lovely story. i'm not even going to try and make it that. it is my life that i choose to live my way. we wait expecting thingz to just happen for us for our fairy godmotherz to come and grant our every whimz. this is the point at which i think we need a reality check. have we grown that out of touch that we long for something that cannot be? i am not condemning romanticism but simply pointing out that too often we expect what is not achievable. maybe i'm wrong that it is possible to have the perfect love story. i would be beyond thrilled to see it and to see success. until then i'm going to be more than i ever thought was possible and accept my namesake.
i have the infamy
notoriety is only a token more
what i long for is the peace
to see the end of the war
Disenchanted Lullaby
12.02.2009
The Picture
i want to paint a picture with this paint, such a vibrant and rich color. itz not right though. this crimson, though beautiful is not my cobalt. the sketch that livess in my mind, only one color rules supreme. such a deep, royal, heartwrenching shade. maybe, i can try and make it look right. moving my hands to the canvas, angling my wrist jus right i begin. a lil bit here, a dash there. maybe this line..............no. dammit no no no. what is this? this isn't what i wanted. this hurts, this is wrong. who's hand is that? why..i don't understand. the color matches perfectly, but the rose? it shouldn't be alone. it is never alone. not in......fuck. how did this happen? it should not have gone this way. now i can't stop it, and though the picture is gorgeous it shows all the emotions i didn't want. how does one even do this? itz.................the blood, the pain, the rose. it all comes together and now i see it.
who knew, someone so beautiful could be so ugly
who thought, a being so bright could dim itself