5.29.2010
The 9
3.26.2010
8 tries, 8 lies, 8 cries, 8 complies, 8 tried, 8 lied, 8 sighed, 8 died
1.10.2010
Thus Sevenfold and Sevenfold Combined
12.17.2009
Sixpence
12.11.2009
Fivehigh
12.10.2009
Fourthcoming
and never find things out for ourselvez
once again body worn eyez restless mind racing i find myself with thoughtz. thoughtz that i wish i could understand. the hopeless romantic the last of a dying kind i don't get it. why is it that we accept these so called love storiez in the entertainment knowing that it is not true yet we long for our livez to mirror? i have found love but because i am barely more than human at this point i fucked up. i nearly lost it completely. no my life is not a pretty fairy tale or a lovely story. i'm not even going to try and make it that. it is my life that i choose to live my way. we wait expecting thingz to just happen for us for our fairy godmotherz to come and grant our every whimz. this is the point at which i think we need a reality check. have we grown that out of touch that we long for something that cannot be? i am not condemning romanticism but simply pointing out that too often we expect what is not achievable. maybe i'm wrong that it is possible to have the perfect love story. i would be beyond thrilled to see it and to see success. until then i'm going to be more than i ever thought was possible and accept my namesake.
i have the infamy
notoriety is only a token more
what i long for is the peace
to see the end of the war
Disenchanted Lullaby
12.02.2009
The Picture
i want to paint a picture with this paint, such a vibrant and rich color. itz not right though. this crimson, though beautiful is not my cobalt. the sketch that livess in my mind, only one color rules supreme. such a deep, royal, heartwrenching shade. maybe, i can try and make it look right. moving my hands to the canvas, angling my wrist jus right i begin. a lil bit here, a dash there. maybe this line..............no. dammit no no no. what is this? this isn't what i wanted. this hurts, this is wrong. who's hand is that? why..i don't understand. the color matches perfectly, but the rose? it shouldn't be alone. it is never alone. not in......fuck. how did this happen? it should not have gone this way. now i can't stop it, and though the picture is gorgeous it shows all the emotions i didn't want. how does one even do this? itz.................the blood, the pain, the rose. it all comes together and now i see it.
who knew, someone so beautiful could be so ugly
who thought, a being so bright could dim itself
11.25.2009
Thrice
so cold yet inviting. i cannot resist her. harsh though she soothes your painz. she'll talk to you all day yet you can't hardly get a word in. care to explain to me why? why we put ourselves through it time and time again? because you know that even when it seemz pointless you know it will go nowhere you hold out the slight hope that maybe it can be something more. one night stands are just outlets for faulty searches unjustified loneliness longing for acceptance. in the short moments we spend in the throes of passion we know it will end far before we are ready yet we continue to subject ourselves to it. we keep false hope in the thought that it will somehow last. it was said that every man dies alone. are we scared? yes. scared to fucking death of that thought. keep trying if you think you have what it takes. but realize both must want it or it won't ever be anything. holding back only keeps you in the same place no matter how much you might want to move on.
Best of You
11.22.2009
Deucez
11.13.2009
#1
11.08.2009
How I Feel
You said tonight is a wonderful night to die.
I asked you could tell, you told me to look at the sky.
Look at all those stars, look at how goddamn ugly the stars are.
I wanted to deserve a place
A place beside you
This time when I reached out my hand
It reached all the way to heaven
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart... when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a Saint...
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
The perfect words never crossed my mind,
Cause there was nothin' in there but you.
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me.
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out.
There you are standing right in front of me
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety.
10.21.2009
Sweat Stains and Comfort Zones
9.20.2009
And It All Comes Crashing Down
Whether we realize it or not
(And for the most part, we do notice it)
We have turning points in our lives
That we have complete and total control over
Of what happens and where it goes from there.
People try to say that this pinnacles are created from the actions of us
But that it also is affected by those in our lives.
I don't agree with this though
I feel as if we have control
That at no point do we lose it
We may give it up
It may seem that things are out of our grasp
Yet it's not